


Obligatory TMR Chatroom Fic.

by HufflepuffAlchemist



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Everyone is an idiot, Gen, No Bashing, Ships are minor - Freeform, Texting, The WICKED staff are teachers, This Is STUPID, bookverse, chat fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-07-05 04:04:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15855846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HufflepuffAlchemist/pseuds/HufflepuffAlchemist
Summary: What it says on the tin.





	1. Part 1

Before we get to the actual fic, here are some PSAs. This is basically an exposition chapter to save time.  
1\. No characters are bashed here. Mainly because they all deserve better. THEY'RE UNDERAGE FFS!!  
2\. The ships are my personal preference, so it'd be nice if we avoided ship wars.  
3\. A lot of my headcanons will be here. Sorry not sorry.  
4\. Sonya is referred to by her real name here.

 

Now, chat names that were pulled out of the air as the author tried to keep what remains of her sanity in check. Thus, they're shit.  
Thomas= GottaGoFast  
Newt= SlimyBoy  
Minho= OG  
Teresa= Feminism  
Brenda= AceGoddess  
Sonya/Lizzy= QueenLizzy3  
Harriet= TheGirlWhoLived  
Rachel= Baby  
Aris= Despacito  
Gally= Done

Frypan=Wendy's (I still LMAO at the tweets)

Alby= Dumbledore

Now ages. Most of them are in their early 20s (as this is an university AU) 


	2. New Room Created.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chatroom is created and everything goes to Hell.

_Feminism has created Gladers._   
_Feminism has added GottaGoFast, OG, SlimyBoy, TheGirlWhoLived, QueenLizzy3, Baby, Despacito, Done and Dumbledore to Gladers._

GottaGoFast: What's this room for?  
Feminism: So we can scream out our college woes and still be deemed non-threatening to humanity.  
OG: Finally doing some good then?  
Feminism: SHUCK OFF!  
Baby: What?  
SlimyBoi: She tried to stop Min from stealing Ratman's "priceless" klunk but he found out.  
OG: WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?!  
QueenLizzy3: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!  
TheGirlWhoLived: Babe no.  
Done: Mood.  
Despacito: WTF have I entered?  
Baby: Don't ask.  
Done: More importantly, why does that prevent her from doing good?  
OG: She was meant to be lookout.  
Feminism: I LITERALLY TOLD YOU HE WAS COMING!!  
OG: NOT FAST ENOUGH!  
QueenLizzy3: So...no fight?

GottaGoFast: Moving on...where's Brenda?  
Despacito: She had to leave early. Something about a family pet.  
GottaGoFast: But shouldn't she be back by now? We've been free for hours now.  
Despacito: IDK  
Dumbledore: She better get back soon. Our dorm room's really quiet w/o her.  
SlimyBoi: Isn't that a good thing for you, tho?  
Dumbledore: That's what I thought...  
SlimyBoi: Oh, really? ;)  
Dumbledore: NEWT NO!!  
AceGoddess: REALLY NEWT???  
SlimyBoi: Hey Brenda. How's the pet?  
AceGoddess: Recovering, thank God.  
Despacito: That's good :)  
AceGoddess: Why the emojis, Aris? Spill!  
Baby: We're going on a date Saturday.  
AceGoddess: FINALLY!  
TheGirlWhoLived: Shipp!  
QueenLizzy3: PREACH, GF!  
OG: And before we went grey!  
SlimyBoi: Congrats, but Min...you took ages as well XD  
GottaGoFast: Congrats, dude!  
Done: He made Move 1? Called it. Alby, you owe me 20.  
Dumbledore: Fine.  
Feminism: Thank God.  
 _Baby and Despacito have left Gladers._


	3. Chapter 3.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idfk, they're looking for the baby Elites.  
> Also their squad is my squad, as love is shown through insults and memes.

GottaGoFast: Anyone found the lovebirds yet?

Feminism: Nope. We've searched everywhere....wait.

Feminism: GALLY, TEXT HIM!!!

Done: Why me? You did more to make them leave than me.

GottaGoFast: DUDE YOU & ALBY HAD A BET!!!!

Done: In my defence, he started it.

GottaGoFast: YOU CARRIED IT ON!! JUST DO IT!!

OG: DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS!!

Done: Kill me.

SlimyBoy: Mood.

OG: Gally yes, Newt no.

Done: I can't believe this is over my refusal to track down someone.

Feminism: You are the only 1 (one) capable of this task.

Done: Fine, I'll do it. But shuck you all.

 

**Private texts between Aris and Gally.**

Gally: Dude, ya there?

Aris: What do you want now?

Gally: Everyone's panicking. Where are you and Rach?

Aris: We were in town, but we're heading back now.

Gally: Cool, see you in a bit.

 

**Gladers.**

Done: They're on their way back.

Feminism: Good. 

SlimyBoy: So, we search this klunk pile of an university, and they've left us?

QueenLizzy3: Yep XD

SlimyBoy: I'm so POd I might die.

QueenLizzy3: THEN PERISH

QueenLizzy3: Bitch

SlimyBoy: XIGKDFXYUFX SLEEP WITH 1 EYE OPEN TONIGHT.

_Despacito and Baby have joined Gladers._

Baby: I leave for 1 hour and return to this. It's so sad.

Done: Despacito play Aris.

Despacito: I hate all of you. Except Rachel.


	4. Hogwarts Houses.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Squad is sorted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, how would you guys react if I had chapters with 1-on-1 chats, like I did briefly in the last chapter? I think it'd be cool, but I also want your POV.
> 
> Also, there is no set timeline to this fic from here. The first 2 chapters were side-by-side but now order has been yeeted out of the window.

AceGoddess: Yo  
AceGoddess: You ever wondered what houses we'd be in if Hogwarts existed?  
QueenLizzy3: NO NO NO  
QueenLizzy3: ABORT MISSION  
SlimyBoy: My bloody life has been waiting for this day...  
QueenLizzy3: SOMEONE BLOCK MY BROTHER BEFORE HIS BOOKWORM BOOTY DOOMS US ALL!!!  
Dumbledore: Why? If it comes from Newt, it'll be accurate, right?  
QueenLizzy3: EXACTLY! HE WILL OUT US ALL!  
OG: Nah, let's hear it.  
GottaGoFast: Same.  
Feminism: Same.  
Baby: SPILL  
Despacito: THE  
TheGirlWhoLived: TEA  
Done: Oh why not?  
SlimyBoy: :D  
QueenLizzy3: ;-;

SlimyBoy: Let's start with our Gryffindors.  
SlimyBoy: Tommy, Minho & Harriet  
GottaGoFast: Fair enough.  
OG: Yep  
TheGirlWhoLived: PREACH!!  
SlimyBoy: For Ravenclaw, we have Teresa, Brenda and Alby.  
Feminism: True  
AceGoddess: Very true.  
Dumbledore: Explains a lot  
SlimyBoy: Only Slytherins I can think of are Aris and Gally  
SlimyBoy: I mean, ambitious AF and unable to take prisioners? Pretty obvious.  
OG: Iconic.  
Despacito: Thanks dude  
Done: Well, you thought it through, I'll give you that.  
SlimyBoy: Then Rachel and Liz are Hufflepuff  
SlimyBoy: Loyal and fair to the end.  
QueenLizzy3: Well, that was almost painless.  
Baby: <3  
Baby: So what's yours Newt?

SlimyBoy: IDRK. Never thought of it much.  
AceGoddess: Well, you're loyal AF, sweet, fair and do what's right.  
AceGoddess: Another Hufflepuff.  
QueenLizzy3: A fact known by all but the man himself.  
QueenLizzy3: Bloody typical.  
SlimyBoy: Shut up >.<


	5. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter for the ships. Blame writer's block.

GottaGoFast: Uuuugh  
SlimyBoy: What is it now?  
GottaGoFast: Why did I have to get Ratman first thing in the morning?  
GottaGoFast: And as a double period?  
SlimyBoy: Karma?  
GottaGoFast: I had to spend 2 hours without Teresa.  
GottaGoFast: Y'know, the only one who helps me?  
SlimyBoy: FFS you're such a twit.  
Feminism: NEWTON, SHUT UP!!  
Feminism: You and Minho have been dating for 5 years but still give each other heart eyes.  
OG: I'm sorry, have you SEEN my boyfriend?  
OG: How could a pansexual such as myself resist?  
TheGirlWhoLived: When he has a flawless baby sister?  
QueenLizzy3: <3 <3  
SlimyBoy: And you complained about me and Min...  
QueenLizzy3: IT TOOK YOU TWO YEARS TO GET TOGETHER  
QueenLizzy3: IT TOOK US SIX MONTHS  
Feminism: She has a point.

Despacito: Yes, yes she does  
Baby: Even we got our shit together in less time  
Feminism: You got close though ;)  
Despacito: Fell for that, didn't we?  
Feminism: Yep :P  
Baby: You honestly thought she'd spare us?  
GottaGoFast: Not even I, her loving boyfriend, am spared.  
GottaGoFast: There is no hope for the rest of you.  
Baby: Oh God  
OG: She still hasn't let me or Newt live down how we got together.  
QueenLizzy3: Or how we discovered my nut allergy  
Feminism: In both senses XD  
QueenLizzy3: I hate you  
Baby: Mood

GottaGoFast: I'm slightly scared of what I've created.  
SlimyBoy: Who isn't?


	6. Late Night Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blame the sleep schedule.  
> TW for sone allusions to depression. If ya squint...

OG: HHDFHS  
OG: Siri, how do you get away with killing humanoid rodents?  
Dumbledore: What happened?  
OG: OK. I'm in class, minding my own business  
Done: Read: Staring at Newt.  
OG: First of all shuck you...  
OG: Second, as I'm minding my own business, Ratman turns on me for no reason  
OG: So I call him out on it...  
Done: And now he has detention with Janson for the next 3 weeks.  
Feminism: HNCDUDHSUSI  
Feminism: RIP in piss  
OG: DIE  
Feminism: No u

SlimyBoy: Anyway, got a question for ya.  
SlimyBoy: Asking for a friend.  
SlimyBoy: If we're made of water, does that mean we're slowly drowning?  
GottaGoFast: That is terrifying. You alright?  
SlimyBoy: Not really.  
Done: What happened?  
SlimyBoy: Not much.  
SlimyBoy: Just can't sleep for some reason.  
Done: As in the normal "can't sleep" or the other one?  
SlimyBoy: Normal. For once.  
Done: OK.  
GottaGoFast: That reminds me, where's everyone else?  
Feminism: Young ones are sleeping.  
Done: So is Brenda. Like always.  
Done: Alby would be too, but he's working on something.  
Done: If he wasn't, he'd be out too.  
OG: So, if we're in this chat rn, we have no sleep sheducules?  
Done: Pretty much.

OG: Back to my first question (kinda).  
OG: If I did kill Ratman, would I get charged with murder or animal abuse?  
Feminism: Considering everyone hates him, nothing.  
OG: True, but if someone killed Trump, they'd be charged with one of the 2  
GottaGoFast: Not this again  
Feminism: Hmmmm? 0w0  
GottaGoFast: Teresa, no. Please  
Feminism: Why? 0w0  
GottaGoFast: If I say, will you stop?  
Feminism: Maybe 0w0  
GottaGoFast: Minho insists Trump & Ratman are secretly the same person.   
GottaGoFast: Well, clones of each other at least.  
Feminism: Was that so hard to say?  
SlimyBoy: Well, at least she's stopped with that creepy face.  
OG: It had to be stopped from the truth to come out  
SlimyBoy: *eye roll*  
OG: You know you love me really  
SlimyBoy: ....Yh, I do.


	7. What would you do?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on a real conversation I had with my mates the other day.

GottaGoFast: So, if we woke to a zombie apocalypse tomorrow, what would you do?

OG: Go back to sleep so it goes away

GottaGoFast: No can do. This is now reality

OG: Well shit, guess I'll die then

SlimyBoy: Same. Only it'll be saving someone, not stupidity.

Feminism: Don't call Tom out. Not his fault. Buuut, I'd probs die the same way as you.

SlimyBoy: I was talking about Min but fine :p

OG: :"(

 

Despacito: I'd start out as a zombie.

Baby: Me too...unless you bit me or something.

Done: Al & I would live because we'd actually be planning shit.

TheGirlWhoLived: Similar to me & Lizzy

TheGirlWhoLived: Our ability to fight would also help...

Done: We'll be fine without you.

AceGoddess: I'd like to say I'd live, but knowing my luck, I'd probably with Aris.

Despacito: D:<

AceGoddess: I didn't even say it'd be that bad!!

 

GottaGoFast: Basically, all but 4 of us would be shucked??

Feminism: Ye

GottaGoFast: Pray for us

 

_Texts between Gally and Frypan_

Gally: You back yet?

Frypan: Tomorrow man. Flight got delayed again

Gally: C'moooon.

Gally: Even Alby's getting to me now.

Frypan: Not my fault

Gally: :(

Gally: Btw, how'd you do in a zombie apocalypse?

Gally: Asking for a friend.

Frypan: Death by jumpscare...I guess

Frypan: Who's the friend?

Gally: SHIT, WE NEVER ADDED YOU!!!!

Frypan: Do it now then? 

Frypan: What're you on? *not sent*

 

_Gladers_

_Done has added Siggy to Gladers_

_Siggy has changed their name to Wendy's_

Wendy's: I've just seen who else is here, so now I know why God abandoned us.


	8. Group B appreciation.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read the title.

QueenLizzy3: Anyone here?  
Baby: Yeah. Is something wrong?  
QueenLizzy3: Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I just wanted to know if anyone else saw the new Endgame trailer.  
Despacito: UIFHFGUFTUDJTUKGHOIY  
QueenLizzy3:...Well, that answered that  
TheGirlWhoLived: Bae, you spent 10 minutes crying over it.  
Baby: You didn't?  
TheGirlWhoLived: Not for 10 minutes. I'm not a crier, you know that  
Baby: Oh, yeah.  
Despacito: Anyway, should we do a day out for it?   
Despacito: Like, we watch it, then go out for pizza or something?  
Baby: Sounds good. Girls?  
QueenLizzy3: Yep :D  
TheGirlWhoLived: I'm in

Baby: OK, then that's that. Group B's going out.  
Despacito: How'd we even get that name?  
Baby: Well, most of us are younger than the others, and they've been Group A for years, so I guess it's our name by default.  
QueenLizzy3: And in both cases, the token Brit didn't get a say.  
Baby: Neither of you were available, stfu.  
TheGirlWhoLived: Sorry, babe. They have a point.  
QueenLizzy3: Oof.  
QueenLizzy3: Betrayed by my own gf :(  
Baby: You 2 are cuddling now, aren't you?  
TheGirlWhoLived: She gave me the eyes.  
Despacito: You're so soft on her, it's ridiculous.  
Baby: Aris, we've been cuddling on my dad's old sofa for the entirety of this chat, wym?  
TheGirlWhoLived: HA FUCKING HYPOCRITE  
Despacito: Shut up, I hate you.

QueenLizzy3: Y'know, I think my brother hangs out with weirdos, then this happened.  
TheGirlWhoLived: You wouldn't change any of us & you know it.  
QueenLizzy3: No, I wouldn't <3  
Baby: Love ya too :)  
Despacito: ...what she said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead, just busy! Finished Juni Taisen, so I'll probably do something for that soon.
> 
> Also, Endgame's out soon! I'm gonna die, it looks so bloody awesome!! 
> 
> Also, also, in this house, we stan these 4 beans that deserve everything.


End file.
